Where you are, I'll be there.

So, it's about 3:26am and yes I'm still wide awake which might not be a surprise for you guys, but I've really been sleeping at 12-1. Anyway, back to what I was saying..
I was laying in bed flicking through old photos until my mind stumbled across.. school. And then, peers, and then the group. And I thought to myself, wow.. We've been through heaps, we've all gone stronger as individuals. By say that, you must be wondering.. Uh.. Individuals? Don't you mean the whole group itself? lol. Well, there has been complications in the past that cannot be brought back up now. Why? Not because no-one bothers.. It's because somethings are better off broken, then trying to fix it resolving nothing. But it's nobody's blame.. Because, as young adults we all go through these obstacles, and maybe later on in the future things will unravel itself.
But I can say one thing.. I really do miss the old days! And to be fair, I've been a lil M.I.A from the girls.. I'm not quite sure why? I guess mainly it's because I don't go to school anymore, and I'm with my boyfriend most times because I'm used to being with him daily since he doesn't work, and we've both got time on our hands. ARGHH.. This whole thing is stressing me out when it comes to friends, boyfriend, family, education, future.. I don't even know what to do with my life anymore! (Sorry for skipping subjects all the time) lol, but it's true. I've been so lost, and out of it lately that my mind has just completely shutted down on me.
It feels asthough, this is all up to me. I mean, it always has been from the start.. But my life feels so independant since I don't go to school anymore. I really want to get things back on track for the sake of myself, and my parents but I just don't know where to start!
I'm the type that set goals.. but never achieve them or atleast strive to be honest. I've kept in mind sooooo many goals I've wanted to accomplish but never even proceeded after having thoughts about it. I've got such a bad habbit that I want to get rid off. I guess motivation isn't available here! Yes.. My boyfriend, friends bla bla bla are supposed to be your motivation, but to come to think of it, it's all up to you in the end. If you're determin to make it happen? I don't blame anyone for this, because EVERYONE has been a major support towards me, but I've been slacking off heaps..

The other thing is that, it seems asthough I never make my parents happy. Lol. As weird as it sounds, and as much as I try to.. They never seem "satisfied" with my accomplishments whether it's minor or major. Like for example, awhile ago when I was "FOCUSED" in school, lol.. I was at the TOP of my english class, coming first for the whole year. But my mum would always be like, you need to try to get 100%! Like, I know she wants me to be the BEST or be better.. but how does she expect somebody to be so perfect? Oh, and that's not it.. My mum is by far the worst critic, and honest person you'll ever meet. TOO HONEST to be exact. Although, she's a great, strong woman who would do anything just to make her kids happy.. I love her so much, and of course respect her. But we always end up arguing only because we always have disagreements..
She'd want something, and I'd want the other thing. We're like sister's sometimes? haha..

BUT YEAH.. I guess I'm gonna give another shot on the whole 'achieving goals' thing, and I'll let yall know if I've accomplished any, in the long term of course. Oh my.. releasing my words on this is great! Haha, I love it.

Well, I'mma try to sleep now lol. Nighty night xoxo tc.