Arguements can suck it!

OK, this might seem abit low to post yet another dramatic blog, but i can't help it, that's what you're here for right? So i can express my aggressiveness, yet sensitivity side..

It's only a few hours before my 16th birthday, and i've had, what? About 5 arguments with the boyfriend already! How bad can my life get? And yes, what the hell right? It doesn't even seem that bad, but having to put everything together about my life is well... bad enough, for me that is.
I wonder if my REAL dad, who left me when i was just a little toddler still thinks about me now. Does he ever wonder if his almost fully grown matured daughter is still ALIVE or doing well in school?! Well i got news for you sugar daddy. She ain't. I could almost describe myself as a rebel individual who mucks up her life by doing everything just so she could satisfy her needs. Little selfish me! So what? This is me, like it or not.
I wonder if my parents at home are aware that my birthday is a few hours away... If they are planning to gift me with anything? Maybe love would be nice. Or maybe a place at home, feeling comfortable would be even better.. But i don't know, they ARE my asian parents, and they will never change their aspect of me.
Aspect, perspect, view.. BLA BLA BLA that's all i've been talking about. About how people see me, about how people see the world. I'm so sick of everything and how fast the world is changing. Why can't everything seem to be as it was before? When i was a little care free girl who had no opinions, who didn't seem to care what i've done. Who only was concerned about the smallest things.. That was the OLD me. This is me now.. The one who always stress about "significant" things, but that's pretty much bullshit. Because i don't, i just think i do. Only because of the environment i challenge myself in.
I don't need any artifical sympathy, just need someone to understand the way i am.
Sometimes i stand in the shower crying my eyes out thinking "KILL ME NOW" but then after, i laugh it off like sh*t, are you stupid Kimberly? I would think to myself, you're not cursed with some life threatening phase, why are you acting like this? Well.. I summed up my personality, and i have the results.. I am a qualified mentally challenged person. Can somebody help me? And no, it's not you buddy! *points up to the sky* (Apoligies for some misunderstanding, but only some specific people can understand what i am trying to point out)

I'll be sure to keep you tuned in about my annoying life. Yet, i just fucking love it!
xoxox.